“I love this book because you can turn to any page and find that Neila Connors offers you positive and proven ‘recipes’ carefully curated from schools and classrooms all over the country to help you make your school even more exciting, engaging, caring, safe, and fun! It is written for educators who love their students and yearn for a return to a time when pervasive happy and meaningful relationships among everyone in schools were the bedrock of raising student achievement. It is the perfect sequel to Neila Connors's first book, If You Don't Feed the Teachers, They'll Eat the Students, a book that I continue to share with teachers I work with and is beloved by all.”
Judith Enright, Education Consultant
“If You Don't F.E.E.D. the Students, They S.T.A.R.V.E. is filled with a menu of strategies, supports, activities and ideas to challenge our students, ourselves, and our schools to be the best we can be!”
Anna M. Farrell, Retired Educator
“Dr. Connors's newest buffet of positive strategies in education today is a must-read. Sample her ideas about making learning relevant for students. Celebrate her personal recipe box of changes you can make in your students. Going to school should be a 5-star experience for our kids. Stir it up. Spice it up. Get ready to be waited on by the finest education chef herself.”
Patty Dailey, Middle School Teacher
“In my 40 years in education, never has a book been so critical. This book reinforces our why and shows us how we can transform schools through humor and knowledge. Every staff member will find renewal and discovery through this extraordinary collection of strategies.”
Martinrex Kedziora, Ed.D., Superintendent, Moreno Valley Unified School District
“I have used Dr. Connors's work with my graduate-level students, in Educational Leadership courses, for the past several years. These educators are hungry for more of Neila's positive strategies and excellent ideas. Dr. Connors's newest book, If You Don't F.E.E.D. the Students, They S.T.A.R.V.E. provides a delectable menu of choices for practitioners of all experience levels. Please reserve me a table for 25.”
Glady Van Harpen, PhD, University of Wisconsin Oshkosh
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FIRST EDITION
This book is dedicated most importantly to Helen Irene Mooney Connors, my best friend, mentor, and mother, who was my most talented teacher of all (I miss and love you every day). As I look back at all of the basics and learnings she taught me, I am amazed how much ahead of her time she lived. She was the mother extraordinaire, filled with so much love, excitement, and compassion that she authentically lived every day to the fullest, smiling and laughing her way through life.
It is also dedicated to my three favorite teachers: Mrs. Charlotte Pignatelli (2nd grade), Mrs. Mae Brown (high school home economics), and Mr. Stephen Sable (high school psychology) – each inspired me to pursue teaching and be the best possible in life – and to all of the other extraordinary teachers in the world.
And to my favorite principal: Mr. Paul Perachi (Lenox Memorial High School, Lenox, Massachusetts), who wrote to me, “One thing I learned, early on, when working with kids was that you needed to be honest and straightforward in all of your dealings. Kids can smell a phony from a mile away and they respect your honesty even if they don't agree with you or like what you are saying or doing. You've obviously had a distinguished career, and I am honored to have been a little part of it.”
I further acknowledge the following people who have inspired, loved, and supported me throughout this adventure:
Dr. Neila A. Connors is the founder and president of N.A.C. (Networking And Client) CONNECTIONS INC., a corporation dedicated to the implementation of positive attitudes and actions in people. Her primary focus is to coach people on how to “build their own bridge for a successful life.” Her philosophy is based on Napoleon Hill's quote: “If you can conceive it and believe it, you can achieve it.”
Presently, Neila works for Thomasville University in Thomasville, Georgia, as a site coordinator for the GEAR UP program, which places her in MacIntyre Park Middle School teaching 6th, 7th, and 8th grade math. She loves being in the classroom.
Throughout her career, Neila has had the privilege of working with students in grades K–12. She has been an elementary teacher, a middle school teacher, and an administrator. She also was an online adjunct professor online at Florida State University for four years.
Previously, Neila worked at the Florida Department of Education, responsible for coordinating the development of the middle and high school state curriculum frameworks, working with high school teachers and administrators throughout the state. She also was the director of Middle Grades and later was responsible for the state International Baccalaureate and Advanced Placement programs. She also served as a tenured professor in the Department of Middle and Secondary Education at Valdosta State University, Valdosta, Georgia.
Her research has been in the areas of teacher advisory programs, successful counselors, attitudes of students from rural areas, positive teachers and their characteristics, and homework. Among her most notable publications are S.O.S. (Success-Oriented Strategies) for Teachers of At-Risk Early Adolescents: P.S. – All Early Adolescents Are at Risk! and Homework: A New Direction. Her most recent publication, If You Don't Feed the Teachers, They Eat the Students, a guide for all educators, has received many enthusiastic reviews.
Neila has written numerous articles. She has presented to public and private school educators, school boards, superintendents, state and national organizations, parents, counselors, international school educators, and corporations in the 50 states, Canada, and Europe.
Born in Lenox Dale, Massachusetts, Neila received her bachelor's degree from St. Leo College in Florida and her master's and doctorate degrees from Florida State University, Tallahassee, Florida. She is proud to be a die-hard Florida State Seminole and introduces herself as A BELIEVER IN PEOPLE AND A LOVER OF LIFE!
These are very interesting and challenging times in education. With the emphasis on the Common Core State Standards (CCSS), Georgia Milestones, teacher assessment, and high-stakes testing, on top of many other new practices and programs, many feel inundated and overly stressed. Plates are full and anxiety is high in classrooms and schools everywhere. Veteran teachers are asking why, while new teachers are asking how.
There are too many cooks in the kitchen deciding what is best for our students and the progression of education. Everyone is screaming accountability, assessment, accreditation, authenticity, and adaptability as our students and teachers are just trying to endure. And while our standards increase and our testing toughens, the real world just uses a search engine to find information at a moment's notice.
Think about it. In this day and age, if we are dining with a friend or colleague and they mention a topic, term, or philosophy that we are unfamiliar with – what do we do? In less than two minutes, we have a complete description and a base foundation from searching on our phone. Yet our schools are still in the antiquated mode of the “drill and kill,” “death by ditto,” and the “sage on the stage” methods. The tests get more difficult, the teachers are overwhelmed, and students are looking for alternatives via online and virtual learning because there is too much to learn that never will be applied in the real world. So unfortunate, especially when the extraordinary teachers have the answers.
The foremost objective for writing this book is to focus on what really matters and remind everyone to NEVER lose sight of what is important – relationships, relevance, recognition, and connections with our students. If students don't feel that the adults they are working with truly care – learning does not occur. That is the reality. We cannot tolerate new trends mandated by elected officials with inflated egos to take away from doing whatever it takes to F.E.E.D (Fuel, Engage, Empower Daily) students on a regular basis so they do not S.T.A.R.V.E. (Stop Trying And Reject Valuable Education). Students and their overall welfare must be our major concentration. My dream is that everyone working in the best profession ever – education – will take the time to connect with students through positive attitudes, open communication, active participation, commitment, and recognition.
Additionally, I believe that repetition is the mother of skill. Therefore, you will see important activities and ideas shared numerous times throughout the chapters. I believe when you first learn something you accept it (hopefully), when you hear it again you believe it (conditionally), and when it is shared a third or fourth time you actually put it into practice (end goal). My aspiration is that after devouring this cookbook, you will find many takeaways that you will put into practice and begin formulating your own methods to F.E.E.D. students.
The following chapters will provide the recipes to authentically and realistically accomplish what is most important. This will ensure our students do not S.T.A.R.V.E. and bona fide, reality-based learning will occur. This book is designed in a “cookbook” fashion so you can easily move from section to section and not have to digest everything in order.
Welcome to your personal “dining” opportunity. It is my pleasure to share my views and thinking with you. The purpose of this book is to validate that like a fine “five-star restaurant” and extraordinary dining experience, a fine educational experience can produce a state of reverence and satisfaction and be quite tasty and fulfilling, nutritious and delicious; which is why teachers who F.E.E.D (Fuel, Engage, Empower Daily) their students ensure that students do not S.T.A.R.V.E. (Stop Trying And Reject Valuable Education) My former book If You Don't Feed the Teachers, They Eat the Students! focused primarily on “feeding” principals, assistant/vice principals, administrative teams, and teachers.
This book will take you on an excursion “from soup to nuts,” covering what I believe is imperative to F.E.E.D. students the best education possible at ALL grade levels from all backgrounds and diverse conditions. The concentration will be on improving attitudes and achievement by developing and sustaining positive relationships through open communication, active participation, commitment, and recognition. The goal will be to assist schools and educators in moving from ordinary to extraordinary.
Going from ordinary to extraordinary means we really need to look at our educational system constructively. Truthfully, everyone wants schools to be better, but the reality is that no one wants them to be different. My friend and mentor, Dr. John Lounsbury, would always share that if Rip van Winkle were to wake up today after 100 years of sleeping, he would not know how to drive a car, use a cell phone, turn on a TV, or get money from an ATM, but he would feel comfortable in our schools because many have not changed much – kids in desks, in rows, teacher in the front (yes, with new technology but doing the same thing) and the “sage on the stage” with little time for interaction, reaction, discussion, questions, or reflection.
Extraordinary is when top-chef teachers use distinctive and various teaching strategies to include all learning styles through interdisciplinary instruction. Extraordinary people make a commitment, go above and beyond, get things done, inspire, create, and serve. Purchase the book The Fred Factor: Every Person's Guide to Making the Ordinary Extraordinary by Mark Sanborn for all staff members and discuss it during a staff meeting.
My style is definitely for all of my fellow right-brainers. However, I have forced my left-brain to function for the folks who truly run the world. If you are not sure what side of your brain is dominant, here is a simple assessment: Left-brainers have FILES, right-brainers have PILES, and no-brainers have PILES of FILES. Consequently, in this “cookbook/guide to success” there is something for everyone: all grade levels, all teachers, and all administrators to F.E.E.D. students.
Dispersed throughout, you will find many notes, suggestions, observations, and dreams I have chronicled throughout my career. Whenever I attend a meeting, conference, or staff development session I take notes in my journal. Additionally, many thoughts and ideas come to mind at different times that I journal. I always try to give credit where credit is due if possible and apologize in advance if an idea appears to be without acknowledgment. You will also find a lot of quotes. Attempts have been made to attach the correct person to the quote, but over time, some quotes become attributed to the wrong source. As Abraham Lincoln said, “Not everything you read on the Internet is true.” Finally, for all of you “acronym-a-holics” like me, you will LOVE this book. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy. We aim to please. As you dine, we hope you will find an array of appetizers, meals, desserts, and recipes to suit your needs.
When you make plans to go to a five-star restaurant, you have certain expectations. Your foremost desire is that the focus be on you, the CUSTOMER.
If you have had a great dining experience, you should be able to answer yes to the following questions:
The same questions can be asked of students when assessing the success of a five-star school. We will address each question thoroughly in future chapters.
My recent encounter with a five-star restaurant was in the Denver Tech Center in Colorado at a restaurant named Del Frisco's Double Eagle Steakhouse. The evening was in celebration of a dear friend's birthday. Her husband, son, and daughter-in law joined us. Obviously, the company was the foundation for a fabulous evening, but we also had HIGH expectations for the restaurant, which were met and beyond.
With that aside, as I reflect on the specific components or ingredients that made this event so extraordinary and noteworthy, I easily concluded that Del Frisco's Steakhouse provided us with a significant and noteworthy experience.
If you can experience all or at least most of the components from a FIVE STAR RESTAURANT, you will feel the money and time spent was worth it. Similarly, we want our students to feel F.E.D. (F-ulfilled, E-nergized, and De-stressed) upon departing from school every day. Our priority is to strive to meet that purpose.
The following chapters/experiences will identify each component and penetrate more deeply into the elements listed, providing the ingredients to make it happen. Understandably, an entire book can be written on each topic, but here you will be given the nuggets to entice and stimulate your pallet. Accordingly, I will attempt to provide a “buffet” of recommendations for you to select from to F.E.E.D. the students in your school, remembering that students are the customers and deserve thoughtful treatment on a daily basis. Our ultimate goal is to Fuel, Engage, and Empower Daily (F.E.E.D) so everyone leaves Fullfilled, Energized, and Destressed (F.E.D) and so students do not S.T.A.R.V.E. – Stop Trying And Reject Valuable Education.
Sit back, relax, and relish your experience. Bon appétit!